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NO REGRETS

When the spirit of my client’s father came through, he spoke of his regrets. My client, Doreen, a woman with two grown children and a successful law practice, had hoped to reconnect with her father, who had been emotionally distant when he was alive. Of course, what she wanted to hear most was for him to say “I love you.” Instead, he came bearing the energy of sorrow. I did so much want to give Doreen positive words of encouragement – what I sensed this dynamic lady was looking for – but I have to be truthful, and give only what I get from spirit people. After Doreen left my office, I felt bad that her father had gone to his grave with so much unfinished business. And then I remembered an article I had recently read: a nurse who has worked in palliative care for many years noted “The Top Five Regrets People Make on Their Deathbed.”

 


Interestingly, I hear many of these same regrets from spirit people – and from clients commenting about their spirit people – in my work. These feelings are also illustrated by a fellow named Doug, a Toronto man dying of cancer. His honest and fascinating blog can be found at www.dyingdigitally.com .

Here are the most common five regrets, according to the unnamed palliative care nurse:

1) I WISH I’D HAD THE COURAGE TO LIVE A LIFE TRUE TO MYSELF, NOT THE LIFE OTHERS EXPECTED OF ME.

I hear this a lot from my psychic development students. Many of them wish they had learned to develop – and then trust – their intuitive abilities a lot sooner. But they instead listened to their parents/siblings/friends/spouse/school teacher/religious leader/a voice in their head (pick relevant one or several) and convinced themselves that their perceptive insights were just bogus.

Think about it: How many times have you promised yourself you would take that vacation, teach yourself a new skill, try writing that novel, learn to cook or begin that exercise regimen? It’s never too late until it’s too late. As Nike says, “Just do it!”

2) I WISH I DIDN’T WORK SO HARD.

I applaud men and women who work hard to support their family, and even take a second job to make their kids’ lives easier. But how much money buys enough happiness, and when does the need for financial security lead to insecurity?

One of my clients, Raj, was so concerned about not making enough money that he worked himself into a heart attack. His hard labours were for an admirable reason – he wanted to provide a comfortable sum for his family of five once he was gone. “But Raj,” I said as he sat before me, worried because he had to take time off work to recover his health, “what’s the hurry? You’re not gone yet!” Even his father, who touched in from spirit, told him to stop and smell the curry. (His dad was quite a joker – and quite wise!)

3) I WISH I HAD THE COURAGE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS.

Moira made an appointment because she wanted to hear from her mother. I centred myself, then felt the presence of an older gentleman who began talking to me about a coin collection. “And he’s showing me a striped tie that you had given him for Christmas when you were a young girl. He’s thanking you for it.”

“That’s not my father,” Moira said sternly. “He collected coins. But he’d never acknowledge anyone’s kindness toward him.”

“But he’s acknowledging it now,” I said. “He’s saying he loves you now, because he wasn’t able to say it while he was living.”

Moira snorted. “It’s a little late for that,” she said, and asked again to hear from her mother. I felt her father’s presence shrink a bit, yet he still stayed nearby, hoping for another chance to connect with his estranged daughter.

4) I WISH I HAD STAYED IN TOUCH WITH MY FRIENDS.

The lyrics to this traditional Girl Guides song speak so eloquently to this: “Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other gold.” That’s because close friends and loving family members are the ones who’ll support you in time of need.

I wrote about such a friend in my book, Compassionate Messenger:  True Stories from a Psychic Medium. Nicki, a Buddhist woman in palliative care, had a circle of women who stayed with her day and night, comforting her physically, emotionally and mentally. I was honoured to be part of Nicki’s journey, and visited her several times before she passed into spirit. We talked about Buddhism and Spiritualism, and she even came back to thank me during her funeral!

5) I WISH I HAD LET MYSELF BE HAPPIER.

When was the last time you heard a good joke? Did you repeat it to others? Why not?
Remember that old Mary Tyler Moore show about the funeral of the clown, and the mourners couldn’t stop laughing? How wonderful! I sure hope people crack a smile or two at mine. Because then I’ll know (and you can be sure I’ll be watching the goings-on from spirit) I made people laugh. We all need to be silly sometimes.

Now, what about you – any regrets lately? It’s never too late to correct a few misgivings!

If you have any questions or comments on this subject or on any other spiritual matter, feel free to write me at mail @ carolynmolnar.com . And please visit me again!

 


toronto psychic carolyn molnar 2016 tn
Carolyn Molnar
Toronto Psychic Medium and Spiritual Teacher

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